Father's Day


During the last weekend of May, I found myself reflecting on whether I should write a blog post about Father's Day for my newly launched lifestyle website or not.  The occasion doesn't move me as much as Mother's Day does, so I didn't really feel like it and had to mull things over.

I was never a daddy's girl.  I never had a close relationship with my father.  To me, he was just an authority figure who signed my excuse letters when I got sick and had to be away from school, scolded me when I misbehaved as a kid, gave permission so I could go out with friends as a teen, checked my grades to see how I was performing at school, and provided money for education and daily expenses. 

But I did look up to him, as I remember when I was a kid, I used to always say to my friends that I wanted to be a lawyer like him.  Also, I did get affected and felt his absence when he passed away many years ago, as I remember crying and feeling so sad.  Yet deep in my heart, I never really understood what kind of bond we had.  And even up to this day, I'm still not sure why it felt like he was so distant and 'formal'.

So every time I see loving father-and-daughter scenes, whether in movies or in real life, I can't help but feel different sorts of emotions...moved and happy that such a bond exists, but also jealous and sad that I never had such kind of a relationship with my father.

Fast forward, a week ago (one week into Father's Day), I finally decided to write and publish a Father's Day post.  I thought I'd try even just to be a tiny spark in other daughters' world.

Today is Father's Day.  As I reflect on my relationship with my father, it also moves me to look up and remember my Abba.  The Father who has always been close to me and present in my daily life.  The One who has always been my tower of strength and comfort.  Whose great love for me has always been there to see me through.  

With God as my Father, I know I'll always be Abba's girl ü

Carpe diem!


It was already noontime.  I grabbed my car keys, phone, wallet, and hand sanitizer, and quickly tucked them into my jeans pockets.  I was on my way to the hospital to get myself tested.  I had some weird symptoms that started a week back, so my doctor suggested that I go and get tested.

While in the queue wearing my N95 mask provided by the hospital, and seeing more and more patients coming in, it dawned on me how life can just be taken away anytime.  Have I lived my life to the fullest?  Am I living my purpose?  How much of the things that I've always wanted to do have I already done?

I know my life is super far from 'perfect'.  I had done things in the past that I can no longer undo.  There were things that I should have done but didn't do.  I have missed many opportunities.  And I still have a million dreams that I want to fulfill.  Sometimes, my days seem to have no direction still searching for answers.  And at other times, I still try to make sense of the things in my life and wonder if I'm going the right way.

But I know too that each new day is a new chance to live life.  To breathe more.  To pray harder.  To do something bigger.  To be 'the good' in the world for others.  And live with more meaning.

And I also know that every day is God's second chance for us to create ripples in our own lives and in other people's lives.

As I walked past the medical staff's station through to the testing room and witnessed how they were selflessly serving others despite the risks, I realized even more that we all need to seize the day no matter what.

Before it's too late.


*(As I write this, I carry the happy news that my test is negative...thank You, Lord!)*

Chicken Soup


Monday...and the first day of winter...gosh, two things I'm not a fan of, I thought as I woke up from an empty dream last Monday morning.

Like some people, I don't particularly like Mondays.  And I don't like winter as I don't like feeling uncomfortably cold.  Though I have some nice beanies, scarves, coats and boots, I'm not really keen on wearing layers.  And not too happy with early sunsets and shorter days.

Thankfully, seasons change.  And in three months' time, it'll be spring (yay!).  In the meantime, I live each day as it comes.  Drag myself from bed on weekday mornings and conquer the cold.  Put the heater on and wish it won't give me any nosebleed.  Wash my hands and shower with hot water, and just try my best to manage dry skin.

In the midst of the hassles of winter, I thank God that I still manage to find the positives and my happy.  Like not having to endure the high temperature of a super hot summer.  And having a good excuse to stay longer in bed on a cold weekend morning.  Getting to drink more of my favorite hot cocoa.  And having nice hot soups to help with chilly evenings, particularly tinola (Filipino dish), one of my favorite chicken soups that my Mom loved to cook for us.

I remember when I was just starting off here as a new immigrant, I didn't know a single soup recipe and had to call my Mom.  So now every time I cook that dish, not only does it warm my body, but it also comforts my heart.  It's like having Mom's tinola once again (I miss her every day) and it's like chicken soup for my soul (thanks Mom) ü

Now that the days and nights are getting colder every day, I thank God that I have my winter warmers and Mom's tinola with me...they won't change me into a winter person, but will definitely help me through my winter 'blues'.  *smile*






  

Only Good!

Washed my hands.  Washed them again.  And again (seems endless!).   Sheesh, still couldn't believe how many times I have to do that now.  My hands are getting drier and drier every day (as sometimes I forget to put hand lotion on).  Blame it on the pandemic.


And with the world going through a lot right now, yes we can't help but blame it on the pandemic.  It's tough to be in a battle with a virus and even tougher to be faced with the uncertainties of the coming days.  We can't help but feel all sorts of different negative emotions and wonder when all these will end.

Despite all these, it helps to keep our faith intact.  Many times, I would find myself feeling anxious and exasperated.  But I try my best to look at the bright side of things and pray.  Count my blessings.  Do something positive.  Reach out to others.

At times, it's hard to do all these but I know that God is working in the background.  He has a great plan in spite of everything.

Remembering His past wonders in my life and focusing on His present blessings, whether huge or small, create a big calm in my heart.  I thank Him that I still have a job even with the current crisis.  Food on the table.  Safe and healthy family, partner and close friends.  Internet access.  Newly-launched website.  Free view of the ocean and blue sky.  Delicious new recipes.  Kindness and love around me.  Family chats.  Happy things.  Free and fun online shows.  Negative covid19 test results.  Freedom to write.  Book sales that help bless the needy.  Time.  Better ways of doing things.  Etcetera.  (Thank You, Lord!)

While washing my hands a couple of minutes ago, I noticed the phrase "Only Good" on my handwash bottle (wow!).  Definitely made me smile as it reminded me that even with all that's happening in the world right now, only good shall come out of it.

Because God is in control.



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Heal Our Land
(Jamie Rivera)

If my people will humble themselves
Humble themselves and pray
If they seek my face and humble themselves
And turn from their wicked ways
I will hear from heaven and forgive their sins
I will hear from heaven and heal their land

Lord, heal our land
Father, heal our land
Hear our cry and turn our nation back to You

Lord, heal our land
Hear us oh, Lord, and heal our land
Forgive our sin and heal our broken land

Lord, we vow our knee, we humble ourselves
Humble ourselves and pray
Lord, we seek Your face and humble ourselves
And turn from my wicked ways

Father in Your mercy, forgive our sins
Father in Your mercy, come heal our land

Lord, heal our land
Father, heal our land
Hear our cry and heal our broken land